A 17 year old alumni of Enochs High School Modesto, CA. (skipped 1st grade) my goals in life include playing golf at the highest level. As a matter of fact, High School golf was just a launching pad to the next level, hopefully a D1 school preferably in the PAC 12 or BIG 10. This year just like the last, I was able to play my way to the CIF Masters. Whereas last year we played in a storm, (almost missed the tournament because of a freak accident on I5 which stopped traffic for miles) this year was the day after a 2 day storm where winter rules were in effect and the conditions were just as miserable. Nevertheless I was able to shave-off 10 strokes from last year’s score card.
My dad and both my swing coaches Chris Mendes (Dryden Park) and Dana Ebster (McHenry Golf) believe in me. They all agree that I have the best swing in town, that if I pay attention, I could play on the tour. Deep inside I feel like I belong on the tour, that I’m destined for bigger and better things in life. Hitting the golf ball seems like the easiest thing to do!! I mean sometimes when I’m in the zone, I can curve that ball any which way I want. Half the girls on the tour don’t even hit the ball as far as I do – average 260 yards on the drive. But my little sister, 2 years younger, who is a major pest, will outdrive me from time to time and make sure that I don’t forget. I love her and enjoy playing golf with her.
My passion for golf explains why I spent most of my free time on the golf course. Heck we don’t even live on a country club and yet we spent more time on the golf course than most kids who do. My dad says that I might be the one who will win it for the Munis; I must admit that sometimes I felt like they were just saying these things to make me feel good about myself but when Chris Mendes ran a frame by frame clip of myself, my friend Christine who has an amazing swing and my little sister Nthenya who has become quite a golfer herself, we all had the same smooth and easy swing. Unbelievable right!!
So when I’m on the course and feeling good about myself, having had that nice sandwich or chicken-salad and a large soda to wash it down, and a small bucket to warm up, I can collect birdies one after the other like it’s the easiest thing to do. Such are the days when I’m putting for eagles on all the Par 5s and having to settle for birdies or hitting all the greens in regulation and blaming the missed 3-4 footers on the bumpy greens. And then a blowout hole will come from nowhere and mess up the perfect round…. They tell me it’s just golf, and perhaps it is; but there is that nagging feeling that I might not have what it takes to be a champion: that I might not have the heart of a champion; that I might be a quitter!! I know that I’m destined for greater things; that God has bigger plans for me and so quitting is not an option. Oh yes, I do believe in God and the power of prayer. So yes, I’ll just console myself by believing that those blowout holes are not only teachable moments, but they are God’s way of bringing me back to earth just incase I get over my head that I’m immortal. A noticeable improvement on my tournament scores is not only rewarding for the hard work and effort invested in practice, but also encouraging as I endeavor to attain my potential.
Speaking of God, did I mention that I’m a confirmed Catholic (Mary Magdalene) who sings in both the Children’s choir (Cherubim choir) and the adult choir (Adult choir) at St. Joseph’s Catholic Church in Modesto, CA. My family believes in my singing abilities as does the Music Director Svetlana, whom from time to time will call upon me to be the cantor. I love those moments, I can’t contain myself, I’m always smiling; I’m not even nervous anymore!! And that’s when Mass is kicking because I’m fully attentive. Love them days.
Helping the little kids at the 1st Tee is a blast. It’s interesting to see those little guys with their different personalities trying to learn, eager to learn and very appreciative when they do learn. Their lives are like an open book, so easy to read and understand.
So my dad tells me that I have a big family in Africa, an entire village, possibly a town where everyone has the same last name because they’re all related; nice, I can’t wait to meet them. My dad only has 5 sisters and 2 brothers for a total of 8 children. Strong mother he says, I say it was a party all the time!! So perhaps some day I’ll check-it-off my bucket list.
Growing up I always wanted to travel; it looked so cool in the movies or when people talked about it; but it was different when we travelled. As a mover my dad is always loading and unloading trucks all over the state and he never leaves us behind. He once took us to Idaho to unload a truck, we went to Oregon on a job, we have driven the entire state of California both day and night just to load and unload trucks, especially the load-swaps. I hate it. This is not my idea of travelling, even when we visit the fancy restaurants along the way. I suppose it was my dad’s way of teaching me that hard work pays, I think they work too hard.
There are fun times when we do travel just for the heck of it, like the memorable trip to Yosemite National Park earlier this year. Such majestic beauty, the scenery was breathtaking as was the cliff jumping and Glacier Point was exactly what they said it was, jaw-dropping!! Nothing compares to the Youth Retreat we went to in preparation for my confirmation. Steubinvillle was amazing. I have never felt closer to God than on that wonderful weekend at the beach with my peers in Christ and our Pastor Fr. Mark.
Wish I had more fun places to talk about, I guess Great America was fun, we made the most of our season tickets; I went to watch Raven Simon at a concert in Turlock. My poor dad had to alternate carrying my sister and I on his shoulders the entire time so that we could see her and dance along. The movies are fine, sometimes we can’t quite agree on what to watch and so we’ll stay there for a while, maybe even bring in burritos to snack on.
When I’m not singing in the choir, my best days are spent on the golf course. Ever since I was infected with the golf-bug, a missed day of golf feels like a month. I just enjoy hitting balls. My coach Chris says that my swing is at both ends of the spectrum, worse than a beginner, and at par with the pros. To me, it all depends on the mood and a good sandwich goes a long ways to fix that mood.
So currently I’m fighting a lot of demons. I’m lost and in search of perspective; nothing seems to be working according to script; I feel like I’ve let myself down!! I haven’t even been to church nor a golf course, I’m afraid of the people who love me, afraid of school, I’m afraid of myself. I know that I’m heading in the opposite direction, down a very slippery slope. Like I said, I'm fighting terrible demons; I've hit rock-bottom; with a very heavy heart, full of despair and hopelessness. I can feel and hear my family and true friends reaching out to me and yet something wicked inside me is compelling me to push them away. I know Jesus died for our sins so that we may never have to carry that heavy cross; a privilege that most of us take for granted, and yet it is there for us to take. And I’ll have to relearn how to pray, God knows I need to pray for healing.
I need to pray that God may open my eyes to see the important things in life, like the opportunities he provides for me to serve him, I need to pray that he may unplug my ears so that I can hear his calling, I need to pray that he may cleanse my heavy heart so that I may once again receive him. I need to pray for courage to withstand temptation and most importantly to forgive those who have wronged me. Pray for me, I need all the prayers I can get. One thing I know for sure is Divine Providence goes hand in hand with the Power of Prayers. I need both.
What Happened? 
